In Matthew 16:19, Jesus entrusts Peter with “the keys to the kingdom,” giving him responsibility and leadership despite his human imperfections.
Although I would be crazy to compare my responsibilities to the magnitude of Peter’s, there may be shared concerns and hesitations amidst our Divine, precious entrustments.
Jesus doesn’t say, “Peter, once you become perfect, I will give you the keys.” Jesus entrusts Peter while Peter is still becoming the disciple Jesus calls him to be. Even in the very end of their relationship, Peter denied Jesus 3 times, but Jesus still trusted him with the future of the people of God!
As Director of Music and Liturgy at St. Isidore, I am entrusted with a microcosm of the people of God. I celebrate my 20th year here this year and although I have felt truly called to this ministry, I have not always felt totally adept and capable! Like Peter, I am still learning to become the complete disciple Jesus wants me to be.
There can be overwhelming awe when you think about how your ministry affects the worship and prayer of an entire parish community. I sometimes struggle with anxiety when there are important and complex decisions to make, people to coordinate, expectations to balance, and inevitable moments when someone is disappointed with me. Ugh! There is always a dose of humility when I realize that I cannot possibly do everything myself—that this ministry of God’s people depends upon the gifts of God’s people. It is OK to ask for help because we are many parts and all members of the Body of Christ.
An absolute highlight of this year was the final Mass we celebrated together for Fr. Ron’s retirement farewell on Sunday, July 12 at the 5:30 Mass. After much planning and coordination with so many ministers, staff members and parishioners, we came together to celebrate, pray and worship in a quintessential experience of Mass that I will never forget. The church was filled with over 900 assembly members embracing and exemplifying full, active and conscious participation in their attentiveness, enthusiastic responses to prayer and some of the most powerful singing by an assembled body I have ever experienced. I found myself floating out of the experience asking, “Why can’t Mass be like this every week?” It was truly amazing!
Mountaintop experiences such as this remind me that I am blessed to be part of something so wonderful, so beautiful and so eternal that there really is no other place for me. Moments of doubt, uncertainty and self-disappointment pale in comparison to the enormous trust that God has me right where he wants me to be. I must not give in to my human weakness, but continue to trust that God is with me and will continue to guide me for the people of our parish through their prayerful help and support. The Body of Christ sustains me always.
Maybe Jesus was saying to Peter and is he still saying to me,”I am entrusting this to you. Stay close to me.”
