Last week, my wife and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, which is certainly something worth celebrating! It also got me thinking about the many healthy marriages I’ve witnessed over the years, especially the marriage of my grandparents. I remember attending my cousin Todd’s wedding, where all the married couples were invited onto the dance floor and gradually dismissed according to how long they had been married. My grandparents stayed on the floor the longest, having been married for more than 60 years.
I once asked my grandfather what the secret was to staying married so long. He said, “The key is to always do what she says.”
My grandmother quickly replied, “Then why aren’t the Christmas lights all the same color?”
My grandfather laughed, but the next time I visited, all the lights were the same color. My 80-plus-year-old grandfather had gone outside in the middle of winter and replaced the bulbs that didn’t match.
That simple story has always stayed with me. It showed me that love isn’t always about grand gestures. Often, it is about the small things we do because we know they matter to the person we love.
My grandparents also built their marriage around faith. They prayed together, attended Mass every week, shared prayer intentions, and said grace before every meal. Their relationship was centered on Christ.
They weren’t perfect, but they modeled three important lessons about marriage:
1. Couples who pray together stay together.
Prayer reminds us that marriage isn’t just about two people—it is about inviting God into the relationship and keeping Christ at the center.
2. Small acts matter more than grand gestures.
My grandfather changing those Christmas lights was a small act, but it was an intentional expression of love. Everyday kindness and putting our spouse first can speak volumes.
3. Successful couples learn to forgive.
We will make mistakes. Strong marriages aren’t built on perfection but on the willingness to forgive, seek forgiveness, and begin again. As St. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13, “love bears all things.”
Whether you have been married for 60 years, are preparing for marriage, or are somewhere in between (as my wife and I are after 26 years), I encourage you to think about the successful marriages you have witnessed.
What have they taught you about love? And what can you do to bring those lessons into your own marriage?
With faith, forgiveness, and a willingness to love through the little things, we can all strive to build marriages that reflect the love of Christ.
