Growing up, my mother often reminded me to “treat others how you want to be treated.” It’s a simple lesson that most of us probably heard in one form or another. Be kind if you want kindness. Be patient if you want patience. Treat people with respect if you expect them to respect you. It sounds easy enough—until someone hurts us.
I find that I am much more aware of the mercy I need than the mercy I am willing to give. When I make a mistake, I know the whole story behind it. I know the difficult day I had, the frustration I was feeling, or what led me to say something regrettable. Naturally, I hope others will be patient and understanding. When someone else disappoints me, however, I rarely know their whole story. Sometimes, all I see is what they did.
At Mass, we recognize our sins and failures and pray, “Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.” We come before God, trusting in His mercy and compassion.
In today’s Gospel, Peter asks Jesus how many times he has to forgive, as though there might eventually be a point when he has done enough. Jesus’ answer shifts the focus away from keeping count to living a life shaped by mercy. The servant in Jesus’ parable receives incredible mercy himself yet almost immediately refuses to extend even a small amount of it to someone else.
Sirach puts the contradiction rather plainly: “Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the ʟᴏʀᴅ?” It is an uncomfortable question. I know how much I depend on the patience, forgiveness, and compassion of God and others, yet offering that same mercy can be difficult, especially when I feel someone doesn’t deserve it.
Forgiveness does not erase the hurt or mean that trust is instantly restored, but it does challenge me to consider how tightly I am holding onto anger and resentment. If the Lord is “kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion” with me, how should that change the way I respond to others?
God’s mercy isn’t meant to stop with us. As we receive it, we are called to pass it on.
All these years later, I find myself returning to my mother’s simple advice: “Treat others how you want to be treated.” Perhaps Jesus is calling me to live those words more deeply. If I depend upon God’s patience, compassion, and forgiveness, am I willing to let someone else experience those same gifts through me?
